through Tough Times -    -   .
in times of trouble -     -   .
words of wisdom - w  w -  .
shoulder -  - .
to lean -   - .
Admit -  - , .
pain -  - .
affect -  - , , .
sure -  - , .
make sure -   - , .
his emotions -   -  .
focus -  - .
behaving differently -   -   . 
So, although -   - , .
Although -  - , ,  .
It is much more constructive -      -   .
explore all the possibilities -  o   -   .
permission -  - , .
avoid -  - , , .
Keep your promises -    -   . 
If you said you would pop in - 
    w  
  , ()   () (  ) 
unless -  -  ,  .
but, unless you follow it through,
-      - 
     ,
flak -  -  ,  .
Take the flak! -  
   ! (=  !). 
bereave -  - , .
expect -  - .
gratitude or acknowledgement - 
   - 
  . 
patient -  - .
Allow -  - , .
the smallest gestures - o  -   .
Ultimately -  -   .
gift -  - .
to be there -    - ,  ,  .

 36
    
Helping a friend through Tough Times
     
  , 
Sometimes its hard to know
   
  
what to do
w  
  () . 
and what to say.
 w 
    
But, in times of trouble,
    
   
words of wisdom
w  w
 () - , () 
are the last thing
  
   . 
your friend wants to hear.
  w 
(,)      
What your friend needs
 w   
()   , 
is a good, strong shoulder
    
t  ()    () . 
to lean or cry on.
    
, 
Admit

    
that your friends pain
   
  , 
affects you, too,
  
 , 
but make sure
  
 ()  /  
that it is her/ his emotions
     
  , 
you focus on,
  
    . 
not your own.
  
   
Be yourself
 
   
and dont start
  
  . 
behaving differently.
 
 ,  
So, although
 
   , 
it may be hard for you,
     
  
try to be
  
   , 
the same person
 
()   .( 
that) you always have been.
()  w  
 , 
Talk less,
 
 . 
listen more.
 
 , , 
Although you may
  
  , 
want to give advice,
w  
   . 
it is seldom useful.
   
    
It is much more constructive
    
()    
to help your friend
   
   
explore all the possibilities
 o  
   
and talk them out
   
 . 
with you.
w 
   (=  . ) 
Give your friend permission to talk.
    
    
Dont try to avoid
   
/ , 
her/his pain
  
   (=  ). 
by changing the subject.
  
  . 
Keep your promises.
  
  , () 
If you said
  
  () (  ) 
you would pop in
 w  
  , 
and see your friend,
   
  . 
make sure you do it.
    
   , (=  ,) 
Just saying
 
()  , 
that you will help
  w 
()     
might make you
  
  , 
feel better
 
    
but, unless you
  
 , 
follow it through,
  
     (=   ) 
it will do nothing
 w  
  (=   ). 
for your friend.
  
   ! (=  !). 
Take the flak!
 
   
The bereaved or
  
   (= , []  ) 
those in shock
  
 . 
are hard to please.
   
  
Do not expect
  
  . 
gratitude or acknowledgement.
  
 . 
Be patient.
 
     (=   : ): 
Never say things like:
   
   
You should
  
()   
be over it
  
  !. 
by now.
 
   
Allow your friend
  
 ,  
as much time as
   
/ , t , 
she/ he needs to talk,
   
       
even if you have heard it all
      o
 . 
a hundred times already.
  
 . 
Be practical.
 
 (  ) 
Often, it is
  
   
the smallest gestures
o 
()   . 
that help the most.
  
  , 
Ultimately,

  
helping a friend
 
    
through a crisis
 
  () , 
is less about doing
   
  ()  ( ). 
and more about being.
   
  , 
The greatest gift
 
()    -
we can give
w  
() -  
is simply
 
 () (). 
to be there.
  
